Just had the most bizarre re-union dinner with my dad's side of the family.
We were at this restaurant, having a normal Chinese New Year dinner with all the normal, ordinary banter and conversation.
Halfway between the roast duck and the salted veg, a bald uncle next to me pulled out several silver packages and passed them round.
They weren't the normal red packets you'd eagerly expect. But because they were an unusual silver, we looked at them with interest.
Then the conversation became very, very, strange.
Bald Uncle: "This is Malaysian Viagra. Very, very, good. My friend recommended me. Cleared by AVA and the government. For both male and female. Will make you very strong, very alert, very fast."
**this made me nearly choke on my crispy duck skin***
Aunty 1: "Oh really ah! Eh Uncle 4 you should try this you're always so slow"
Uncle 4: "Really meh this kind of thing can work anot"
Bald Uncle: "Eh its been in Singapore for quite some time already. About 6 000 Singaporeans have tried it"
Cousin 1: (sotto voce) "Yeah... And all 6 000 ended up in SGH"
***I began to drink tea to wash the bits of food stuck in my throat and threatening to block my windpipe****
Uncle 2: "So whats the name of this libido medicine?"
Bald Uncle: "Oh, it depends which flavour you want. This one is Orange Juice, that one is Green Tea"
***WTF MAN!!! WTF?!?!?****
Aunty 3: "Aiya we dont need these kind of lan chiao medicine one. We have never needed lan chiao medicine!"
Uncle 4: "But this one not just for cure. It can boost performance what!"
***At this stage I had my cell-phone out and was pretending to be engaged in a phone call****
And on and on the conversation went, about sex drives and that kind of thing, while they cut up the duck and dished out the noodles.
My dinner was prematurely ended as my appetite had completely failed me by the time the dessert arrived. I can't imagine how I managed to finish the meal.
The UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-ness of the whole thing was incredible.
By the time we left the place my mind was filled with Question marks and the incredulous letters W, T, and F were all I could think of.
