Perhaps it is in the delirium of fever that I type this.
Perhaps it has to do with the situation of mild desperation that I suddenly turn to the Almighty.
But unworthy as I am I feel the need to turn to Him, my Lord and King.
I have no other choice.
It's also perhaps to do with the fact that the interview for Oxford University is tomorrow and I am ill-equipped to handle the intellectual demands that will most probably be presented by the venerable Dr Barbara Kennedy. And I do so want to go to Oxford.
But it must be made clear that if I do go it will not be due to any skill or ability I possess, but to the grace and Sovereign Will of my Lord and King. I cannot do it by my own self. Even the skills and aptitude for the Humanities that I possess- are these not from God Himself, Who has deemed it fit to bless me as He has? And I must remind myself constantly about this fact lest I fall into the pit of Pride and Arrogance.
And even if I do not go to Oxford, and remain here- then, all thanks still be to God, and may His Name still be praised, for He is good and His Will is perfect.
How hypocritical of me! I, such a sinner, can only go round spouting religious phrases only when I need Him. How loathsome. But it is my prayer that God will turn such evil to His good.
How petty. How pathetic. But His Name must be glorified no matter what it costs me.
So call me a lunatic in the spasmodic throes of illness and last-minute desperation- I probably warrant such a description- but I have no other recourse now. I cannot apologise for my faith.
In Your Presence, O GOD
by Lynn deShazo
In Your Presence,
that's where I am strong
In Your Presence,
O Lord my God.
In your Presence,
that's where I belong.
Seeking Your Face,
Touching Your Grace
In the Cleft of the Rock.
In Your Presence O GOD.
I want to go where the rivers cannot overflow me,
Where my feet are on the rock
I want to hide where the blazing fire cannot burn me,
In Your Presence, O GOD.
I want to hide where the flood of evil cannot reach me,
Where I'm covered by the Blood (of the Lamb Who was crucified for our sins)
I want to be where the schemes of darkness cannot touch me,
In Your Presence, O GOD.
